Home is where the <3 is

Well, it has been a little over a week since I arrived back on American soil. I have got to say, I have never had so many conflicting feelings over being back "home". For so long I thought the only place I could ever call home was comfortable Middlebury, Indiana. Guatemala, you have truly changed the meaning of home for me.

My last week in Guatemala consisted of the beach and many painful, teary goodbyes. The hardest of all- my leader, second mom, and best friend- Sheny. It is really a shame that not everyone can know this amazing woman. This past year, though the best year of my life, was so difficult at times. There were days I questioned myself and what I was doing all the way over in Guatemala. But Sheny, she was always there encouraging me. She was patient and loving and my best friend. She helped me discover my passions and how I can use them to glorify God.
Even though you will never read this because it's in english :), you will never know how much your life and testimony have influenced me this past year. I love you!

Now for what I (plan) to do with my post Guatemala life. I have decided to attend Huntington University this fall where I plan on double majoring in psychology and Spanish! While working in women's social work this past year, I have discovered God's calling in my life to become a counselor for women who are hurting. And maybe someday even move to the missions field again :).
God has truly moved in some amazing ways throughout every aspect of my life this past year, and I could not be more grateful for it. Thanks to everyone who has supported me and read all these blogs!! Your kind words and support have been so encouraging.
And now it's time for a new chapter.

Month number 7

It's crazy to think I have been in Guatemala for 7 months already.. It feels like just yesterday I was driving up into the mountains for the first time, yet at the same time it doesn't. This place has become like home to me. As much as I miss my Indiana home, I don't think I am ready to leave my new home here in Guatemala yet.

This semester has consisted of language school, sights, and lots and lots of homework. I also had the awesome experience of Samana Santa (Easter week) while living in Antigua! This is the biggest holiday/touristy week in Guatemala, bigger than Christmas! The weekends leading up, the week of and especially good Friday, people stay up all night to make these beautiful saw-dust carpets. After they make them, processions come through the streets and destroy them. I had the opportunity to make a carpet with my family, and I have to say it is quite depressing when the processions come through and ruin the hours of hard work you just did! But it really was an amazing experience I will remember forever! I also went on a 4AM hike up the mountain by my house to watch the sunrise, spent the night on a volcano, went to a zoo, and am going to Tikal this weekend. :)

These past couple of months have been a very different experience from last semester. For one, I know so much more spanish. It has been so encouraging being able to use my spanish in my sight to be able to talk with the women I work with. I have grown so much in my relationships with them, and they are truly amazing people. They make the hard days here in Guatemala so worth it. Today I had the opportunity to lead a devotional (first devo I have ever led) in spanish.. I was so nervous, and I forget probably half of what I was going to say, but I did it!! And even though it may not have gone well, I am so proud of myself for overcoming this fear of mine and for the opportunity to share the Bible with some of the most influential women in my life.

The opportunities God has brought me throughout this entire past year have been amazing. The biggest one, Guatemala. It is amazing for me to look back to the person I was a year ago and see the change that has happened throughout my life. I really am a different person, and I could not be more thankful.

So my goal for the rest of my last month here is to sit back and enjoy it. To build my relationships even more and soak in the beauty and my life of Magdalena. Thanks to everyone who continues to read this thang!

ROUND 2

Well, I have officially made it back to the homeland!! Oh how I have missed this beautiful country and the friends that come along with it. Needless to say, it feels good to be back.

Christmas break. It was so good to be home again and see all of my friends and family (and dogs, of course)!! I was surprised to find how much I started missing Guatemala. Something I came to realize very soon in my time at home was was that just because my personal life had changed, does not at all mean my life back at home had changed. And that was a little difficult for me to process. Other than that, being home was nice, especially my bed. :)

I arrived back in Guatemala Tuesday night. Lowell and Cheryl were at the airport to pick me up, and we had time to catch up over some Pollo Compero (my fav fast food restaurant here). I feel so lucky to have such amazing family to share my experience of Guatemala with! The rest of this week has been filled with re-orientation and language school. And oh my word I forgot how mentally exhausting language school could be. So, my afternoons have been filled with (long) naps and pretty much everything else you don't need to use your brain for.

I am currently living in Antigua, so there is so much for us to do during the day now! Yesterday we found a little coffee shop with a pretty cool view. And the best part is, Antigua is filled with these hidden treasures. I am so excited to explore this amazingly beautiful little city!

This view though>

Host family. I am absolutely loving my host family! I live in a cute little blue house right inside of Antigua. My host mom's name is Carolina and she fits right in with us Global Bridgers, attitude and all. She is also an awesome cook, which is a plus. :)

Thanks to all who continue to pray and support me through this journey I am taking on! I am so excited for this upcoming semester and all that God has in store for me and my friends.

Real life

Only 1 more week until I am on a plane back to Indiana! THAT IS 7 DAYS! I am a little excited to be at home for christmas! It's crazy how fast time has gone here. It definitely doesn't feel like I have been here for 3 months.

So two weeks ago we had a huge team come from California! It was mainly families that came, so it was fun to have them here and acting like I was apart of their families too. :) It was the first team for us, so it was pretty exciting. The team came over thanksgiving, so we got to have a huge thanksgiving meal with them. Being away over the holiday's was a lot harder than I expected, so it was really nice to have thanksgiving with a bunch of families!

These people all sacrificed their thanksgiving to come serve in Guatemala, and that was kind of amazing to me. They spent their thanksgiving without the comfort of their homes and familie. They gave up something so special to come and serve God in a community of huge need.

Yeah, I sacrificed stuff to be here in Guatemala for the year. I sacrificed going to a real college, spending time with my family, a lot of freedom from living in the states, money. After thinking about these things, I realized these are the things I sacrificed for myself. But what have I sacrificed truly for God? Are there still things in my life that I don't want to sacrifice for him? Since being a missionary for this year, sometimes it's hard to remember I still need to spend time with God and try in our relationship. Just because I am serving in this community, does not make me better in any way than these people I am serving, because I know I have learned so much more from these women in these past 3 months than they have taught me, if I am being honest.

As I have mentioned in another blog, it is amazing how much these people rely so much on God. They lean on him with all they have. They have SACRIFICED all parts of their life for God.

One of the women I serve in my sight who I have gotten to know pretty well has demonstrated to me giving EVERY part of her life to God. Before she became a christian, she was with a man who abused her. But the problem was, she had two kids with him, there was no way she could leave him. One day she woke up and he was gone, with both of her kids. After this she fell into extreme depression, not even wanting to get up in the mornings. After a little while, she met a new man and had a daughter with him. Even with her new family, she still felt a feeling of hopelessness in her life.

A little while down the road, she got involved with our ministry, and gave her life to Christ. And ever since then she has been a new person. Not that she doesn't still struggle with her past and depression every once in a while, but she has given that part of her life to God. And that is what is most inspirational to me about her story. She has opened the door in heart, and given the most painful part of her life to God.

For me, it is so hard to give some parts of my life to God. Even living here in Guatemala, I thought that a lot of the pain I have from my past would somehow magically be healed, that I would magically turn into a "better christian". But the truth is, it is still so hard for me to open some of the painful doors of my past to God, it's scary. But the thing is, God is our safe place to God. No matter what has happened, he is always going to accept you and be there for you. And I think that's something that a lot of us forget sometimes.

So here's what I want to leave you with. Have you truly sacrificed all of your life to God? I know this is kind of an intense question, but it has been something really big on my heart lately. And it is a good reminder that no matter where we are at in our relationship with God, he wants ALL of us, not only the parts that we want to give Him!

Thanks to all reading this thing!! See you all in a week!

#BLESSED

So last week my mom, grandma, cousin and her sweet son came and visited me (and aunt and uncle) here in Guatemala! I had so much fun showing them around my new home. It is so nice to have people from home to understand what I am talking about here. And it was also very very nice to see my  mom!! We also hiked a volcano and went zip lining. So that was pretty cool. :)

Da crew minus grandma during our hike up the Volcano Pacaya

With having my family come visit me, I have been thinking more and more how truly grateful for I am for them and all I have at home. I was showing my family my around my house and my community, and they were a little bit shocked at the conditions. Which I have just kind of gotten used to. My whole (Guatemala) family shares one bathroom and a shower (that is outside our house). We wash our dishes by hand. Most people in my community washes their clothes all by hand, which is so much harder than you would think!

In a community near me that I work in, they do not have a community pilla to wash their clothes in. They walk all the way down a hill, with baskets of clothes on their heads, to wash their clothes in a little river. And then all the way back up the hill to their homes.

One thing my mom could not get over was the fact that all of the kids were playing in the streets, because no one has yards to play in. I had never really thought about that before. But it is shocking, there are always kids playing soccer in the streets, because none of them have yards to play in! And it's not just the fact that they're playing in the street, but since I live in a mountain, everything is always either uphill or downhill. So if they lose the ball, it is going straight down.

I think about how I grew up. I grew up in a great christian household. Everything I have ever needed has always been provided for me. And everything else within the grasp of my fingertips. I have always had a huge, grassy yard to play in. We have a washer and dryer. A dishwasher. Clean running water to drink from at all times. Cars. A loving family. A house. A shower. Jobs. Education.

Thinking about all of this stuff is almost overwhelming, and I realize how much I take for granted every single day. For a little while, I struggled with this. I felt almost selfish for all of this I have at home. But the fact is, these people don't know any different. They have grown up in these conditions, and are still happier than so many people back in the states.

And it makes me think. If these people can be so happy with so little, why is it so hard for so other many people who have so much more? And I came to one conclusion. These people have Jesus in their lives. They rely on him with all they have. And their lives are such a huge testimony to me, because they have truly shown me how important is to rely on God, how to put your WHOLE life in His hands.

Now while not everyone here may be christians, the people who are have been so inspirational to me.
And these people have given me new motivation on how to show others how awesome our God is. (And not those just here in Guatemala) How He can help fix their problems, pain and hurt. Because these wonderful people here have shown me how true that really is.

With the thanksgiving season coming up, I would like to encourage everyone to truly sit back and realize how they have to be grateful for. To take time to truly appreciate your family. Because you guys are seriously sooo #blessed... Ya know?

Gracias for all who read this blog and continue to support my time here. It means so much more to me than you realize! And also s/o to aunt Joy for sending me puppy chow with mom for me!!

Gringos Locos

This past weekend we went to Panajachel, which is a village on Lake Atitlan. It was absolutely beautiful! Definitely one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. We stayed in a little hotel and I got to take a hot shower for the first time in two months, which felt amazing. Our first day there we ate lunch at a little Mexican place called Gringos Locos, and let me tell you it was definitely crazy. It was an interesting lunch experience to be here with a conservative christian group, but it definitely added diversity to our adventure :) The rest of the day we just kind of hung out and explored, and of course shopped in the markets. It surprised me at how much it was like Antigua. Another thing that surprised me was how much poverty that could be seen in Panajachel. When I think of going to a big touristy place like this, poverty is not something that comes to mind. Although I am 'used' to seeing poverty around me, I was almost shocked to see it on the streets of Panajachel. It opened my eyes to how much poverty this country really has, and it broke my heart. Even in this beautiful town where tourists from all over the world are coming, these people work so hard to make and sell things in the markets and on the streets, and they still can't make enough for their families.

Even though it was a little sad, I still had an amazing experience! Sunday we took a boat ride on Lake Atitlan and visited two small villages on this lake. The villages were very similar to Magdalena! It was a really cool experience. Sunday afternoon we ate lunch over-looking the lake, I did not want to leave!

                                                              LAKE ATTITLAN

One of the villages we visited 

My lunch view :)

Yesterday the Crown students went to San Lucas, a town near us, for two weeks to work with a different organization, so us Global Bridger's got to move into one house together (besides Tyler of course). Yep we have shelves in our room, which means no living out of a suitcase for TWO WEEKS! We are a little excited about our shelves. Yesterday was also the start of second round of language school for us Global Bridger's. I forgot how mentally exhausted I am after class. It is pretty hard, but I am learning a ton so it is definitely worth it. Today me, Alyssa and Brooke came back and took a long nap in Brooke's bed after class, it felt glorious.

Thanks for following my time here!

Inspiration comes from unexpected places

October 1 was national kids day in Guatemala and I am actually really upset we don't have this day in the states. IT WAS SO FUN. We made a cake, well four cakes actually, for the kids and had a big party for them. So Thursday we played games and had pinatas and ate cake and just had fun! I have never been put in charge of 40 kids before, it was a little exhausting. I never realized how difficult 40 kids bouncing off the walls could be to watch, but we somehow made it through! Thursday night we ate dinner at the community center and played games and got our own pinata! It has been one of my favorite days here so far for sure.

our pinata and Logan :)

These past two weeks have been filled with being back in sites. Right now I am working in the woman's social sight, and I love it! I have never felt so much that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. It has been amazing starting to get to know these women a little bit, knowing who they are and then also seeing where they live. I have been on missions trips before, and each time my eyes are opened by the conditions these people are living in. But actually getting to know these people that are living in these conditions is heart breaking. And even though they have so little, they are still so happy and have amazing faith. They are so eager to not only learn about new ways that they can make a living, but also about God. And it is amazing to me that people that have so little, can have such big faith in God. He always provides. I also got the chance to teach these ladies how to make a bracelet and lead a Bible study in Spanish. It was definitely an interesting experience (and I butchered the Spanish part) but it was still such an awesome experience!

In the three weeks that I have spent with these women altogether, I have learned a few things. God didn't just send me to Guatemala to spark a light in these people's lives, he sent me here for these people to spark a light in my life. I have already begun to see God transform my life through all of these amazing people I have met in my short time here and I cannot wait to see where I end up!